I am on a little hiatus!

Thanks to all of you who have been "worried". I've been absolutely straight out!
Many of you know me as a high energy person. Well this week has really kicked my butt!
I started a new job doing physical therapy for a home health agency last week. In the midst of all this I've been moving, teaching cooking classes at the Kitchen and Cork and have been booked for pig roasts and private chef gigs EVERY weekend! I think I've almost met my max!

I'll try to give you all updates when I can but it looks like I won't have time for anything regular until October. THis stinks because I have so MANY places to tell you about.
Please stay tuned!

Down on the Bayou!

I know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But let's face it, who has time? A typical weekday morning consists of a cup of coffee and a maybe a bowl of cereal. That's why weekends are so exciting for me. It's when I actually have time to relax and enjoy a great breakfast.

A really good and ,most importantly, consistent breakfast is hard to come by in this city. Believe me, I've done the circuit since I stopped making brunch myself. I had been to the Bayou Kitchen years ago and wasn't too impressed. I decided recently to give it another try since it had been so long. I was far from dissapointed!

I started with the "mudbug madness" a perfect omelet made with crawfish, cheese and homemade salsa. Good crawfish are hard to come by in these parts. Very often dry and mealy.

Not these buggers! They had that familiar "snap" like a miniature lobster tail and the best part was this omelet was crawling with them! Ok, probably not the best description to use, but you get the idea! With the breakfast entrees you get your choice of grits, homies, or beans. For toast you get the usual suspects as well as the standout bluberry-corn or jalapeno-cornbread. I opted for the grits and blueberry-cornbread. Both cooked to perfection!

My DP (Domestic Partner), Denae, had the Huevos Rancheros with black-bean chili and homies. A great vegetarian option. The huevos was HUGE and cooked perfectly. The homefries the best in the city! There was so much food that she had enough to take home for breakfast the next day. With us was her daughter Iris who had the biggest and best macadamia~white chocolate chip pancake I had ever seen and tasted! Of course I had to try a bite so after a quick distraction (Look! An alligator!) I deftly "stole" a bite of one of the most perfect pancakes ever. A beautifully crispy edge with a fluffy center. Amazing!

This entry has been a long time coming and since the initial writing over a month ago we've been back every week. That says a lot about a place! I'm now hooked on the Bayou Scramble (Crawfish, Jalapenos and Andouille Sausage with a generous side of red beans, beef and rice) and promised myself to broaden my horizons and try something else although it's hard to top perfection.

I've opted to not comment on the service since Wendy, our once faithful server at the Blue House, is now working here so it would be rather biased. She is still however, one of the best!

You can visit their website at www.thebayoukitchen.com

During this busy pig roasting season I'm going to try to be better at following up here since although this post says 5/24/08 it was actually published on 6/19/08.
Stay tuned for my experience at Portland's newest "it" place. Evangeline.

Sunday FYI

Some interesting and informative food articles I bumped into.

Forbidden Foods

WHAT? No Rachel Ray? ;)

One stop on my dream vacation

No wonder I'm so fat! I mean big boned...

Your shopping list for the Kitchen and Cork

Interesting yet disgusting

I hope everyone is enjoying the weekend!

Kitchen and Cork OPEN!

The Kitchen and Cork is now open. They are still putting things together and unpacking but the doors are open. The kitchen is still being put together as well. If you're on the list I'll have the special coupon for email club members sent out this weekend.

The Porthole

The year 2000 was a big disappointment to me. When I was in elementary school every type of media promised big things. Flying cars, robot servants and the possibility of time travel. Well my vehicle does not leave the ground, I still have to do my own laundry and I have not yet visited the Jurassic period.

The unique thing about living in Maine however, is the fact that depending on where you visit it is like having your own time machine. There are different parts of the state that make you feel like you've stepped back in time. The Porthole on Custom House Wharf is in one of those "time rifts".

Just standing outside of the place makes you feel as if you're back in days of old when briny, seasoned fisherman and sailors ruled the port instead of rowdy drunken frat boys. Looking at it from the outside tells you that not much has been done since the place opened decades ago.
Walk inside and you are definitely transported to the early part of the last century. It appears that every stool, chair table and even the counter is original. This has been one of our favorite spots in Portland, partly because it is "authentic" from the decor to the surly waitresses right down to the down-home honest cooking. On a good Maine day you have a great deck overlooking the harbor. A wonderful way to spend the afternoon with a plate full of mussels, a cold draft beer, good friends and a live reggae band on Sundays.

It came as no surprise that Denae wanted to come here for Mother's Day brunch. We arrived around noon and immediately got a table. The staff looked like they had just gone to hell and back and certainly acted like it. Let me start by saying that the service here is spotty. Sometimes great and sometimes a bit sub par but it's usually made up for with a charming personality. Today was an exception. The service was horrible. I understand that Mother's Day is the busiest day for a restaurant, but by the time we got there things had settled down to an even keel and not much different from the dozen or so other times we've eaten there. I was baffled. As always I like to make light of a situation and when dining with kids one can often find ways to entertain.

The food that day was a little dissapointing as well. One of the big reasons we go there is for the Haddock sandwich. Normally this is one of our favorites. A guilty pleasure of fried haddock on a fresh housemade Foccacia bread with handcut fries. Not gourmet but good honest food. Today the fish was smaller and the bread which is normally chewie with a slight crispy texture seemed undercooked. The fries though were a solid ten as always!

The Breakfast Club ( a local group of food bloggers not the 1980's angst ridden teens of the movie) would attest that homefries are the cornerstone of a good brunch. At least these didn't disappoint. Crispy golden on the outside yet tender and billowy on the inside. The true stand out on a plate of steak and eggs. The over medium eggs were well....over medium eggs. The steak however, was ordered medium. It came out rare...bloody rare! My favorite mind you, but a nightmare to the 11 year old boy who ordered it. The odd part is the fact that despite being severely undercooked it tasted burnt. Either the char-broiler rack hadn't been cleaned properly or someone had taken a lit piece of charcoal and drew the grill lines on the steak. It was so overpowering that even 1/2 a bottle of A1 couldn't mask the horrible bitter burnt taste.

Being in the restaurant business for so long I know we all have bad days every now and then. So to have 1 bad experience after 12 or so visits isn't so bad. I hope this isn't a consistent theme for them because until I get my time machine I will still go back to The Porthole.

Kitchen and Cork!!!!

It's happening! Jane and Wayne are moving all the merchandise in. I visited them for a bit tonight and had to leave in a cold sweat. It was like visiting a chef's Heaven!!! Every toy you could possibly imagine. They're going to try and open early. The tentative date is this coming Tuesday. I'll keep you posted!

View from the front door


















View from the back















The Demo Kitchen!!!













Two happy but exhausted people,
Jane and Wayne

Get me away from Margaritaville!

Last week we had a going away party for someone here at my day job. Whenever this happens it's sometimes a nightmare because someone has to choose a place where 25-30 people will be happy or at least content. This is what brought me to Margarita's on St. John St.

Now normally I wouldn't waste my time writing about such a place but there was something that really annoyed me. The place was packed!!!!!

The lobby was full when we entered. My sweetie Denae and I snaked our way through the crowd and were immediately met with a look from the hostess that was one of slight disgust as if she were saying "Are you two crazy, you'll never get a table!". Even though we made eye contact it took her another several minutes to acknowledge me because she had to finish her benign conversation with a waitress.

The rest of our group had been there for a 1/2 hour or so and were having a great time. Now there is something to be said about servers who handle large parties such as ours. They either are horrible and confused or perky and efficient. We luckily had the latter. She and the Dos XX's were the only highlights of this place.

Jenn was very efficient taking our order and was prompt bringing back our watered down margarita's. They say that alcohol and caffeine dehydrate the system. Not these babies! They were so watered down I was able to get two days worth of hydration. I immediately ordered a tall Dos XX's to do the job.

The food. Not much I can say about it. Like most "Mexican" chain restaurants the menu is the same. One big huge mess! The food arrived promptly but I would've been happier if it didn't arrive at all. My spicy chipotle wings were deep fried with no discernible flavoring at all. The flavoring was some sour cream mixture in a tortilla "cup". Denae's chimichanga had plenty to it but absolutely no flavor at all. I recommend avoiding this place like the plague. The next time I want sub par food I'll go to Taco Bell with a 6 pack of Schlitz.

Normally I wouldn't waste my time writing about a place let alone go there, but as I said before this place was packed!!! There are many choices here in Portland. Many of them good choices so why was this place so special?

My purpose for writing about this embarrassing experience is to encourage people to go out and try the little guys. The independents who work hard to give you good, honest, real food! Like La Familia on Brighton Ave. or Tu Casa on Washington. It would be nice to see those businesses packed every night! Buy Local, Eat Local!

My Little New York

New York City is one of my favorite places in the world. My constant need for instant gratification helps to solidify my feelings towards it. Anything you need is within walking distance and if not at least a subway ride away. Like Las Vegas I can only spend a few nights there or I would die from exhaustion. Both cities operate 24 hours a day and when I visit either place I find myself with a most unusual sleep pattern. If even the slightest thing brings me out of my sleep I find myself instantly wide awake and rushing from my hotel room to see what's going on.
There usually is some kind of excitement no matter what hour of the night it is.


Unlike Las Vegas though, NYC has a different kind of excitement. It's the excitement of real life. As we all know Vegas is fake. A "dreamworld" where everything is manufactured to have the appearance of something else. Like a grown-up Disney World you are brainwashed to forget that you are in some seering uncomfortable and somewhat uninhabitable place and transported to somewhere more beautiful. Paris, Venice, New York and even the kingdom of Camelot are themes meant to drain your wallet.





But New York is "Real". Each neighborhood wasn't manufactured but was "magically" transformed by the people who immigrated there. Chinatown, Little Italy and such are all inhabited and operated by people trying to find a better life yet holding on strong to their cultural roots. That's why New York to me is the culinary capitol of the world. Anything you crave is just a stone's throw away. I would love to live there but the lack of financial resources, since real estate is so high, and the fact that I would die from exhaustion after living there for a week prevents me from doing so.

So here I am in Portland. As I walked down to the video store something hit me. My little neighborhood is very similar to the things that I love about New York. At one end of my street is Forest Ave. This major artery has become one of the most ethnically diverse culinary areas of Portland. All within a mile and a half you have you pick of Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Greek, Brit-Indi, Middle Eastern, Mexican, Italian, American Eclectic, Japanese, and just off Forest Cajun as well as one great bakery!

My favorite however is the other end of my street. Stevens Ave. as many of you may or may not know is in the Guiness Book of World's records as being the only street in the country where you can go from Preschool to receiving your Doctorate's all on one road. This little known street really has the neighborhood feel one would get living in a city such as New York. Within walking distance you have Pat's Meat Market. One of the finest butcher shops in the city. Just upstairs is the cafe at Pat's. They have a fantastic brunch (although I haven't been since the new chef took over) and dinner the last time I went was phenomenal!

Next door is Siano's. I've never really given into the brick oven pizza craze, preferring a nice deep dish myself but the fresh ingredients that they use and the cooked to perfection dough keeps me going back. Across the street Good Eats bakery has everything you need to get your sugar fix. Giant cookies, amazing brownies, cupcakes and on and on....I'm more of an Ice cream fan and Jet video next door has Gifford's, besides being one of the best video stores (they ALWAYS have the movie I want available).Looking for a quick slice I'll stop into the Quality Shop, although only mediocre at best the slices are always there and ready for your gooey cheesy pleasure.

This street is also becoming more ethnically diverse. Way on the other end is Bogusha's. This authentic Polish deli is home to the best damn kielbasa I have ever had. Although much more accesible by car I would happily walk my fat butt down there for it. Coming soon (May 12th to be exact). Simply Scandanavian Foods is moving right next door to the Quality Shop. This is very exciting to me since I am a huge fan of Scandanavian food. Having spent 3 months abroad there ( sounds cooler than " I travelled there as a squeaky clean cast member of Up with People") I had the opportunity to taste the true culinary cuisine and not just a pack of frozen Swedish Meatballs. Having to spend some looooong Winter nights, Scandanavians have perfected good, honest, stick to your ribs comfort food. If you have a chance to stop in make sure to get a "Dajm" bar. This is probably one of the best chocolate bars ever!

I try to stay away from the pretentiousness of downtown Portland or "The Penninsula" as much as possible. Although I do have some favorites there, It's comforting to know that I don't have to go anywhere near there to get an exquisite meal. Like New York I'm just steps away from one, the difference being I can get a FULL night's sleep!

WTF?!? - Part 3

As I'm writing this I wonder why this is such a big deal. I've eaten my share of unusual things. Balut (fetal duck egg , a delicacy in southeast Asia), fried grubs, dog, and countless combinations at various frat and rugby parties.
Why is this such a big deal?
Then it dawned on me. I was usually quite inebriated and could dig in without hesitation and gusto. After all, especially in those situations, it's about machismo and any hesitation would show weakness. So that was the dilemma. I couldn't have my liquid courage first because the courage was IN the can!!!
I finally decided to open the can and just go for it.
By now you know I like to sidetrack in order to set up the next scene so pardon me while I do so right now.
MANY of us have that one thing that you just can NEVER drink again because of some ill-fated event. Please fill in the blanks:
I can NEVER drink (insert liquor here) because I got sick on it at a (frat party in college, pit party in high school, stole it from my parents liquor cabinet in junior high).
That's what happened when I opened the can. A flood of memories came back. I'll give you the summarized version since I know this review is taking too long already.
Here are the facts:
Block Island, RI 1989
College binging weekend from Thursday to Sunday
Return to mainland on Sunday afternoon
ROCKY boatride in the hot sun with the worst hangover ever.
The boat smelled of stale beer, the air smelled of rotting fish and in my mouth was the worst bloody mary ever.
At that point the contents of every inch of my insides made a run for the ocean.
When I opened the Chelada that's the memory that came back. As I pured the reddish contents into a glass and saw that ominous pink head grow I could smell the stale beer, smell the ocean from the clam juice and almost taste the tomato. Every digestive muscle was contracting at this point. Nineteen years of suppressing that memory and promising myself I would never ride on a boat, in the summer, with a hangover and a bloody Mary came flooding back.
Here is my "photodocumentary"


The Infamous Can!!

The pinkish "head"

The first whiff!

By now I was committed. There was no turning back. No matter what I would defeat the urge to run to the bathroom and complete my mission. The mission that involved two coasts and an exhaustive search. This sip was for now my destiny and the result..........

This was my initial reaction. It tasted just like it sounded. Stale beer, salty/fishy tomato juice, yet no "hint" of lime whatsoever!!! Seriously my first reaction was the same one would get drinking an old PBR with sardine juice mixed in. Not too appetizing eh?




Now I'm not sure what happened next, as always the warmness of the alcohol spread through my stomach and washed through my head. Maybe it was the shock of the first sip or maybe it was the alcohol affecting my frontal lobe but something was happening.

I was actually going in for more. WTF!?!?!
I knew this was horrible and I wasn't even really enjoying it...... yet...I couldn't put it down. Must be MSG?!? I seriously couldn't stop drinking it. I will say this again THIS STUFF IS CRAP!!!! Yet I couldn't stop drinking it. I felt defeated.
It dawned on me again, those friggin execs at Anheiser-Busch are geniuses. Mix anything with booze and eventually people will be so buzzed they will keep drinking it. What a great way to utilize some of the crap going to waste on our grocery store shelves. Way to go Anheiser-Busch!
Next they'll have Bud and Cheese Whiz, Bud Light and Carrot Juice, Bud and Prune Juice for the elderly....
This experience took place on March 16th, today is April 27th. It is beyond my scope of reason but since then I have consumed over 12 cans of this crap. I feel embarrassed and ashamed....
WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Kitchen and Cork!

Mark your calenders for MAY 16th!!!

Looks like it's going to be tight but the big opening should be happening on time. Jane and Wayne were hoping to be in there by now but construction was delayed.
For those of you who don't know about the Kitchen and Cork it is a new high end kitchen store that will be opening next to Cabela's in Scarborough. They will also be selling wine and cheeses. The unique part also is that there will be a private dining room in back for dinner/cocktail parties and cooking classes. Yours truly is their resident chef.
Sign up for my email club at emailclub@thepigkahuna.com I'll be sending out updates, class schedules and store discounts exclusively for members!

WTF?

WTF? is the only web acronym that I have ever used. I never bought into web acronyms especially since many are sayings I would NEVER use. "Laugh out loud" "Roll on the floor laughing"...NEVER. I have to admit the extended version of WTF is something that I do say often. Not used in the sense that Tom Cruise did in that 80's classic "Risky Business" where the mantra and theme to the movie was "Sometimes you just have to say what the f---"
It's mostly used by me when my sense of amazement and wonder for something either ludicrous or downright stupid leaves me at a loss for more intelligent words. Sister Alice a good friend of my family, used to say "Swears are for people who don't have the intelligence to use smarter words".
Of course followed with "and if you use them you're going to hell!"

But there are certain things that you just have to say WTF?!? Examples:
- When that person cuts you off to get ahead then drives slower than you.
- The bagger at the grocery store packs the gallon of milk and orange juice on top of the eggs.
- The Platypus
These things make me either scream it out loud or at least bellowing in my mind. I do try to use some decorum and don't just blurt it out like I have tourette's.
One of my more WTF?!? moments started on a trip out to Portland,Oregon last month. I was taking in the city on my first night and saw a sign that made me actually say WTF out loud.
It was a neon sign in the window of a convenience store for the Budweiser "Chelada".
The Chelada is a blend of fine crafted Budweiser and, are you ready......Clamato juice! (they also have a bud light version for you more calorie conscience individuals)
Go ahead and say it. WTF!?!?!?!?!
For those of you who don't know Clamato is exacty what it sounds like. A mixture of tomato and clam juice. I was amazed by this concoction and honestly thought it was a joke. What "genius" came up with this? Does he still have a job? Does the person who green lighted this Frankenstein of a beverage still have a job?
Now don't get me wrong. I've seen people drink red eyes before. Good ol' beer and tomato juice. But it was two other factors that really caused me too say WTF. The clam of course, and the fact that someone actually said "oh yeah! we should can this combination! It's a winner!"
Oh, I forgot to mention there's also a "hint of lime and salt". I have to say I walked away from this one repulsed.
Years ago when I became a chef I promised myself that I would try everything edible. No culinary stone would go unturned. It was this promise and the fact that growing up if we said eeewww to something we had never tried then we had to try it that made me decide that on the first chance I get while on this trip with the right conditions (toilet, barf bag, mouthwash) I will try this bizarre concoction.
Well that opportunity came on my last night. When I got out of my training class I immediately went to the convenience store near my hotel. As I approached the store I saw that familiar neon sign. At first sight my stomach grumbled in protest and I felt that familiar tightening of my gag reflex that is usually reserved for seeing Guy Fieri or Paula Dean. At this location the clamato part of the neon was blinking...mocking me. I once again picked up my pace and swung the door open like a cowboy ready to get into the gunfight of his life. My tunnel vision led me past the rows of chips and cheese spread to the case where the Chelada logo was proudly on the window.
I once again swung the door open with bravado and then....nothing.
The Chelada shelf was empty. WTF?!? I asked the clerk if they had any more. Nope, sold out. I then proceeded to the next store and the next and the next. The same!
By now I'm thinking, genius! This must be a marketing ploy to create a demand. I know because after the fifth store I was DEMANDING one. Nothing....
I left Oregon with a sense of guilt that I should have tried it when the opportunity was there.

Chelada Part Two

Back in Portland, Maine. Usually when I arrive home from some time away I sink into a little depression. I tend to live like I'm still there for the next week or so. Whether it be cooking some of the new dishes I tried or mixing a cocktail that is reminiscent of the area I just visited. This time the depression was different. It was almost a kind of defeat that one gets when they can't have what they want. I WANTED A CHELADA! When my other, better half Denae picked me up at the airport I immediately went into my above rant.
During this rant we stopped at a gas station. I shuffled inside to pay and brushed past a potato chip display. A bag fell on the floor and I went to pick it up. That was when something caught my eye. Could it be? Is it? Yes! The object of my desire was sitting right there in front of me on the VERY bottom shelf. A beautiful 24 oz can of Chelada! I grabbed it and ran straight to the counter. I asked the Funion eating clerk how long we've had these on the East coast. "Umm...crunch crunch burp....I think like a year or sumthin'" A year!!! I thought it was a West coast thing. WTF?!?!
As I rode home with my prize an overwhelming feeling came over me...Crap!!! I really have to try this thing!!
To Be Continued....

What I'm eating this week! - Kim's Sandwiches and Cafe

I don't know how this place has made it past my culinary radar for so long. Kim's has been open for over a year now and I just found out about it last week.

Before I go into detail there is something that you should know about me. I'm sure many of you have gathered from my previous emails I'm not the white tablecloth kind of person. I serve it but don't necessarily enjoy that type of dining.

Many of my most memorable and delicious meals have been in your average dives and hole in the wall kind of places. That's not to say if you were to take me out for a nice dinner at one of Portland's many fine dining establishments I wouldn't go. It's just that eating with the locals, especially in my locale, is more my cup of tea.

This comes from my parents love for the little places. Growing up was a nice balanced mixture of fine dining and downright dives.

One of my sisters I believe is very hormonal. Once a month she sends a very sentimental email to all of us (I'm one of seven kids) with some sort of "remember when" poll. There was one recently where she was asking about favorite food spots growing up. Of course 80 percent of our answers were your typical mom and pop hole in the walls. I think what makes those places so special to me is that they are real. There's nothing fancy to distract you, the food is honest, and most importantly you can be yourself!

Anyway back to Kim's.

Kim's is a memorable hole in the wall. ANYTHING that says Gift and Sandwich shop has GOT to be good! As soon as you walk in you are either greeted by the ever cheerful Kim or her daughter Chantelle.

What they serve is banh mi, which is a French-Vietnamese style Italian, or where I'm from "grinder". Of note is the bread, it's a typical sub shape with two exceptions. The texture and the flavor. The bread is made with a combination of rice and wheat flour. This allows it to have an amazingly crispy exterior (when expertly toasted) while being billowy yet chewey on the inside.

The flavor? Indescribable!

My first experience was last Monday. I ordered the combination banh mi (the house specialty) which is a combination of pate, headcheese (yes, HEADCHEESE!)mayonnaise, jambon (ham), cha lua (bologna),pickled daikon radish, julienned carrots, cucumbers, sliced onion, soy sauce, and cilantro, stems and all. It is very rare that I am so moved when eating something, in fact there are only a few times that I can recall having an overwhelming feeling when eating something.

This sandwich almost made me black out! My senses were overloaded!

The sound of the crispiness and feeling the texture of the bun. The sight of the fresh vegetables and meats and the smell and taste of this masterpiece was overwhelming. Seriously.

Few foods have EVER made me so happy I wanted to cry. This is one of the them.

How much does one pay to be so close to culinary heaven. Is there a price? Well here's the really weird part of the experience. A ticket to culinary heaven only costs $2.75!!!

I challenge anyone to find such a deal in this state!

I went back again the next day to see if there was some sort of fluke. Nope,2 for 2. Then the day after and the day after. For 5 days straight I ate there! All for the sake of you of course and it's cheaper than making my own sandwich at home. Everyday was consistent and it ended with the ultimate climax. The meatball banh mi!

This was an amazing combination of the bread, vegetables and their meatballs. The flavor was like the inside of a dumpling. The thing that threw me off was the texture. One would expect that "give" or slight "rubberiness". These were tender and with the mixture of the "sweet and sour" type sauce with mayonnaise this sandwich was decadent.

For those less adventurous or for those dining with a "plain Jane" the usual turkey ,roast beef or ham sandwiches are available. My advice is to ditch the stick in the mud and go with someone that you can share the true experience with!

The only two downsides are the fact that there are only 4 seats in the place and it's cash only.
Kim is planning to get rid of the gift shop since she "can't compete with walmart" and is going to expand the seating area. But who needs it now? Looks like spring is finally here so you can grab your sandwiches, pick your favorite spot outside and make fun of the other people with their boring sandwiches!

Kim's is located at

261 Saint John St
Portland, ME

(207) 774-7165
Open everyday 9am to 6pm

Call ahead and she'll have it ready for you!
Tell her Chef Dave sent you!
Next week...Chelada, Yummy or Crummy?

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaack!!!!
Welcome to my new blogspot!
This will be the place to view all my rants and raves. I'll do my best to keep things interesting as long as you all promise to write in your comments to help keep this active!
This is also the place to ask questions or to give me input on what you'd like me to write,review, check out or whatever!
It's great to be back in touch with all of you and be sure to sign up for my new email club at emailclub@thepigkahuna.com
By signing up I'll keep you posted on the progress of my new "home" at the Kitchen and Cork, updates on my upcoming cookbook as well as special events that will be happening!
Stay Tuned!!!