Why is this such a big deal?
Then it dawned on me. I was usually quite inebriated and could dig in without hesitation and gusto. After all, especially in those situations, it's about machismo and any hesitation would show weakness. So that was the dilemma. I couldn't have my liquid courage first because the courage was IN the can!!!
I finally decided to open the can and just go for it.
By now you know I like to sidetrack in order to set up the next scene so pardon me while I do so right now.
MANY of us have that one thing that you just can NEVER drink again because of some ill-fated event. Please fill in the blanks:
I can NEVER drink (insert liquor here) because I got sick on it at a (frat party in college, pit party in high school, stole it from my parents liquor cabinet in junior high).
That's what happened when I opened the can. A flood of memories came back. I'll give you the summarized version since I know this review is taking too long already.
Here are the facts:
Block Island, RI 1989
College binging weekend from Thursday to Sunday
Return to mainland on Sunday afternoon
ROCKY boatride in the hot sun with the worst hangover ever.
The boat smelled of stale beer, the air smelled of rotting fish and in my mouth was the worst bloody mary ever.
At that point the contents of every inch of my insides made a run for the ocean.
When I opened the Chelada that's the memory that came back. As I pured the reddish contents into a glass and saw that ominous pink head grow I could smell the stale beer, smell the ocean from the clam juice and almost taste the tomato. Every digestive muscle was contracting at this point. Nineteen years of suppressing that memory and promising myself I would never ride on a boat, in the summer, with a hangover and a bloody Mary came flooding back.
Here is my "photodocumentary"
The Infamous Can!!
The pinkish "head"
The first whiff!
By now I was committed. There was no turning back. No matter what I would defeat the urge to run to the bathroom and complete my mission. The mission that involved two coasts and an exhaustive search. This sip was for now my destiny and the result..........
This was my initial reaction. It tasted just like it sounded. Stale beer, salty/fishy tomato juice, yet no "hint" of lime whatsoever!!! Seriously my first reaction was the same one would get drinking an old PBR with sardine juice mixed in. Not too appetizing eh?
Now I'm not sure what happened next, as always the warmness of the alcohol spread through my stomach and washed through my head. Maybe it was the shock of the first sip or maybe it was the alcohol affecting my frontal lobe but something was happening.
I was actually going in for more. WTF!?!?!
I knew this was horrible and I wasn't even really enjoying it...... yet...I couldn't put it down. Must be MSG?!? I seriously couldn't stop drinking it. I will say this again THIS STUFF IS CRAP!!!! Yet I couldn't stop drinking it. I felt defeated.
It dawned on me again, those friggin execs at Anheiser-Busch are geniuses. Mix anything with booze and eventually people will be so buzzed they will keep drinking it. What a great way to utilize some of the crap going to waste on our grocery store shelves. Way to go Anheiser-Busch!
Next they'll have Bud and Cheese Whiz, Bud Light and Carrot Juice, Bud and Prune Juice for the elderly....
This experience took place on March 16th, today is April 27th. It is beyond my scope of reason but since then I have consumed over 12 cans of this crap. I feel embarrassed and ashamed....
WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
By now I was committed. There was no turning back. No matter what I would defeat the urge to run to the bathroom and complete my mission. The mission that involved two coasts and an exhaustive search. This sip was for now my destiny and the result..........
This was my initial reaction. It tasted just like it sounded. Stale beer, salty/fishy tomato juice, yet no "hint" of lime whatsoever!!! Seriously my first reaction was the same one would get drinking an old PBR with sardine juice mixed in. Not too appetizing eh?
Now I'm not sure what happened next, as always the warmness of the alcohol spread through my stomach and washed through my head. Maybe it was the shock of the first sip or maybe it was the alcohol affecting my frontal lobe but something was happening.
I was actually going in for more. WTF!?!?!I knew this was horrible and I wasn't even really enjoying it...... yet...I couldn't put it down. Must be MSG?!? I seriously couldn't stop drinking it. I will say this again THIS STUFF IS CRAP!!!! Yet I couldn't stop drinking it. I felt defeated.
It dawned on me again, those friggin execs at Anheiser-Busch are geniuses. Mix anything with booze and eventually people will be so buzzed they will keep drinking it. What a great way to utilize some of the crap going to waste on our grocery store shelves. Way to go Anheiser-Busch!
Next they'll have Bud and Cheese Whiz, Bud Light and Carrot Juice, Bud and Prune Juice for the elderly....
This experience took place on March 16th, today is April 27th. It is beyond my scope of reason but since then I have consumed over 12 cans of this crap. I feel embarrassed and ashamed....
WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
